Film Friday Flashback: Hook

Before:

Aww, I love Hook! There are so many great moments, and Peter Pan of course is just one of the best stories. This is going to be great!

After (or in this case, during):

Halfway through watching this movie, I decided I wanted to do this discussion as a conversation between my brother and I. So enjoy, and then tell us your thoughts on this movie!


 

Me: I thought you liked this movie.

Justin: It’s super sad. And dark. And I’m still reeling from the “Hook is suddenly going to be a better father than Peter Pan.”

Me: Yeah, there’s way more dark stuff in this than I remember.

(Hook starts teaching the kids why parents hate their children)

Me: Like, how does Hook know these things about the kids? And why is he like, homeschooling them?

Justin: “So when the judge asks you which parent you love more, you’ll answer ‘Captain Hook’”

Me: Oh the food scene.

Justin: Yeah, they eat like, imaginary food or something.

Me: That never made sense to me. I guess in Neverland anything is possible, but like, you can’t actually survive on imaginary food.

Justin: Ugh, they’re eating all these goopy foods with their hands.

Me: We are obviously not the target audience for this movie.

Justin: Who is the target audience for this movie?

(Rufio and Peter get into a insult exchange)

Me: The insults in Monty Python are much funnier than Rufio’s.

Me: BANGARANG. (I can’t help myself). BANGARANG!!!

Justin: Psh bangarang.

Justin: Peter’s disses were obviously sicker than Rufio’s.

Justin: So wait, was the bowl empty before Peter started using his imagination? Were the lost boys just pretending to eat out of the bowls?

Me: I feel like the screenwriters probably weren’t too concerned about the mechanics of the ‘imagination station’.

(Peter’s daughter sings a lullaby on the pirate ship)

Me: OMG his daughter is so adorable. Not a great singer though.

Justin: So wait, where did Peter Pan come from?

Me: He was an orphan in England, and he wandered into Kensington Gardens-

Justin: That sounds very British.

Me: And he met fairies, or something, and they took him to Neverland.

(Jack and Hook smash clocks)

Justin: *impersonating Hook* ‘You had a father who never came to anything, now you have me!”

Me: Hook just called Jack ‘son’. I feel like that’s way too soon.

Justin: Well, yeah, and he definitely hasn’t known him long enough to keep or break any secrets, so that comparison is pretty unfair.

Justin: Yeah, if you put this movie in a script summary, it’s like “Captain Hook puts on a baseball game to convince Peter Pan’s kids that he’s a better father than Peter”

Justin: “Hook will never miss your games son!” Truly a villain, undimmed by time.

Me: One of the pirates stayed up all night, calligraphying those medieval letters to spell out “Run Home Jack”.

Me: It seems pretty sad that the first game Peter goes to is one where his son is kidnapped by pirates.

(Hook calls Jack “My Jack, Peter takes offense)

Justin: Oh no! Who’s gonna get custody now!

Me: Ugh, I just really want to watch actual Peter Pan now. This movie is weird.

Me: Speaking of weird, this little side plot of Tink being like…in love with Peter? Like, what is happening here? I mean, at least Julie Roberts is gorgeous here. But why does she randomly have a Cinderella dress?

(Peter remembers his childhood)

Me: Um, he’s in a pram. First of all, most horrible mother award for just letting your baby’s pram roll away. And he says that he “ran away”? He’s like, less than a year old!

(Justin tries to leave because he’s done with the movie)

Justin: Ugh, there’s a lot of gross psychology things in this.

(Peter suddenly transforms, can fly)

Me: This movie is just…I remember liking it so much more than this. All of the characters in the actual Peter Pan movies are so much more likable.

Justin: It’s just one big custody battle between Peter Pan and Hook. “I’m your daddy now.” “Your daddy never went to any of your baseball games.”

Me: Well this is just depressing. I remembered it being so much better….

(Peter and the kids return to the real world)

Me: Ok, this ending is cute…except all the old people are losing their minds.


 

That’s about it. We kind of lost steam after that.

THE END.

Do you remember loving Hook? What are your favorite memories of this 90’s movie?

6 comments

  1. Ichabod Temperance says:

    I love your movie/tv review style, Jessica!
    Your brother seems very cool. I am assuming he is younger than you.
    I don’t remember much of this film other than thinking it was well cast.
    Cheers!
    ~Icky.

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